etiquette - How do I tell my advisor about mental health problems?

I'm an undergraduate student (20f). I have 2 academic advisors - one in the Honors College & one in my department. I met with the Honors advisor recently to discuss study abroad and we somehow got on the topic of me not ever taking breaks. My GPA had fallen the past semester, and she warned me that if I don't start taking care of myself, I could burn out before getting my PhD (which is my goal).

I've suffered from anxiety/depression for years and recently begun to see a psychiatrist and counselor when I stopped eating, starting passing out, and developed repeated thoughts of suicide. All of that happened this past semester when I took an independent study with my Dept advisor, and I don't think he noticed. I want to be able to continue my research, so I'm trying to take care of myself. Unfortunately, that means I need to diminish my work load some.

I've been working with my Dept advisor closely for 2 years. He's helped me go to undergrad research conferences, get published, get grants etc. Always there for me academically, but the relationship's still very professional. We're officially starting my thesis work in the fall, but I told him I would start the readings this summer (halfway through the list). However, if I'm going to slow down the pace, I feel like I ought to give him reasons so he doesn't just think I'm slacking off. At the same time, I don't want to make it overly personal and make things awkward between us. He always asks how I am and it's a joke between us that I always say "tired" and he says "me too." I know that he pushes himself incredibly hard and never gives himself a break.

I would really appreciate examples of how I could word the email. I was thinking of asking him to meet some time (we're both in town over summer) to discuss and then tell him. Would it be better to do it over email? How do I tell him that I can't handle my current workload and still expect him to respect me as an academic?

Answer

Good for you for recognizing your illness and for getting professional help.

My answer has two parts.

Regarding how to tell your adviser, I suggest that you can write a short, factual, but non-personal email that contains all the information you want him to know. Something like this:

Dear Professor X,

I need to tell you about a health condition that I have struggled with for some time. I have a psychological condition involving anxiety and depression, and I am receiving professional medical treatment for it. We have a course of treatment that is appropriate but it will take some time to be effective.

One consequence is that I will need to be more careful about the amount of stress I am experiencing, including avoiding a stressful work load. I have decided that my past work load (including X, Y, and Z) is too much and not healthy for me.

Considering the alternatives, I have decided to focus my effort on X and Y, and to discontinue (or cut back on) Z. I remain committed to academic excellence and my career goals, and I believe this new work plan will be more likely to be successful than my previous work patterns.

I will be happy to meet with you to discuss this decision and alternative suggestions you might have. However, there are aspects that I hold private and will not be open to discussing. Thank you for understanding.

Best regards,

Student

You only need to meet in person if the Department adviser requests a meeting.

The second part of my answer comes to me intuitively based on the way you have written your question and the background.

I sense that you might have a belief in perfectionism -- that the only acceptable level of effort is 110% and the only acceptable level of results is perfection. You might have a very negative association with being perceived as "lazy" or "slacker" if you take any vacations or breaks. You might also believe that any error or misstep is a sure sign of unrecoverable failure.

If these resonate with you, then they need to be addressed to avoid recurring patterns of overwork, exhaustion, and eventually burnout.

Since you are seeing a professional psychologist and counselor, I suggest that you raise these questions and your responses with him/her. No need to respond here (in public).

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EDIT: Anticipating some objections, I know that making explicit mention of "psychological condition" and "anxiety and depression" may be risky and may go against cultural norms. As a matter of ethics and morality, I believe it is important and necessary for all of us, individually, to act against those cultural norms that are harmful and counter productive. In this case, it is prejudice against mental illness, but I hold the same views regarding racism, sexism, and other cultural dysfunctions.

Of course, each individual needs to weigh the potential consequences of going against cultural norms. If you can't bear the potential consequences, then don't do it. You'll have to leave it to others to push for changes to cultural norms.